Letter to Alex from Thor Beauregarde. Doc 6414a-f

Letter or postcard, date unknown. A letter of resignation listing reasons for resignation. Associated with Alex Sanders and Thor Beauregarde.

6414A N.F.A. [illegible date] Dear Alex, I am no more. Beauregarde is dead and gone. When I came to you, I devoted myself to your service, and that of the Craft for the purpose of the Great Work. In doing as I did I was pushed on, hoping the Temple and rest of my Coven and City, after having first helped me in my own, meeting people for you, answering the telephone and front door, and replying to letters etc, running errands of all kinds, as well as acting as your Temple Servant, Scribe, and Working Partner. All this I did willingly. You warned me of the opposition of John and Betty to me, but asked for me to trust you. After having picked up the pieces when you did your best to destroy Joanne, you told 6414B me to trust you, and give up my home, and go to Lancashire to help Joanne whom you said was to become your Priestess. This I did willingly, only to find that you had finally put Joanne off altogether. You said that I should stay here, and that you would guarantee that I found a job and a flat. This I believed. The Spirits guaranteed the success of my applications, which promptly failed. I began to disbelieve. You were fighting the Work, even the Spirits said so. You told me that you, the King Witch, did not believe in Witchcraft. You said you were a Moslem plotting to assassinate the Ayatollah. You said the Great Work meant nothing to you, the Work for which I had given up everything. You said you loved me, but you wanted to torture 6414C and kill me. You accused me of having affairs with every woman I spoke to, not to mention the men. This although you know I am neither homosexual or bisexual, but am almost asexual. You accused me of lying, cheating, laziness, poncing, and many other things. This when I had given all for you, so that I had nothing, even spending some £50 or so on your drinks in one week, then giving you my birthday money. I now get £17 or so per week and can't afford to give you both money and drink. You threaten to shop me to the D.H.S.S. with whom I am scrupulously honest, which is why I have no money. So you ask me for rent also. As you are asking the physically impossible, I can't oblige you. Your other option is to throw me out on the street, because 6414D I cannot do the impossible, and make my money remain and be spent at the same time. You therefore put me on the street after I have given up everything for you. You have destroyed all my feeling and regard for you, and prevented me from ever trusting anyone again. Others you have done this to occasionally come back to you. I won't. I can't stand you any more, as you are, as a man insane and definitely not at all Magical, not even human. Even animals have common sense, but not you. For there is no more for me. I am a confirmed loner for as long as I live. I don't know how long that will be; I have little to live for. You have even tried to destroy my personality, and drive me mad. You played games with me, hoping to make me explode in anger. Very dangerous, as I don't explode when 6414E angered, I go cold. Any other person would have been killed many times over had they treated me the way you have. You almost managed to destroy my personality and sanity, but not quite. I thought of suicide, but you have destroyed my ability to care enough to do it, no [doubt?] I will. I simply cease to care what comes next. I will not go insane. I shall simply cease to be as you knew me. Beauregarde has ceased to exist. Other people have witnessed the things I say here. Witches and non-Witches alike. I mention no names, they know who they are. This is a short account, I could write a book if I told all, but it's not worth it. I destroyed and desecrated your Temple because you tried to destroy and desecrate My Holy and Sacred Temple — The Immortal. I do not 6414F hate you for treating me thus. I simply have no feeling whatsoever for you in any way. I now have no beliefs whatsoever. I do not even class myself as an atheist. I am nil. I have given you my all and you are still doing your best to destroy me. You force me to leave you. You have killed all my interest in everything, Great Work included. I do not believe you will ever succeed in completing it, because nobody will stand you for long enough to do so; those that might, you destroy and throw away like broken toys. I resign: Your late friend Thor Beauregarde. [Copies taken.] Notes: - This letter reveals Beauregarde's full name for the first time in this collection: Thor Beauregarde. Directly connects to mow2402i1.jpg and mow2407i1.jpg ("Beauregarde, was hard pressed at the time and thinking of leaving the area"), MoW_Doc6693-6694.pdf (Batch 2, "you must tell him not to concern himself with Beauregarde"), and MoW_Doc6397.pdf (Batch 3, his earlier poem to Alex expressing conflicted devotion). Read together, these four documents trace a relationship from devotion through crisis to complete rupture. - References "D.H.S.S." — the Department of Health and Social Security, the UK government department (in this form) that existed from 1968 to 1988, which helps narrow the likely date range of this letter. - Describes destroying and desecrating Alex's Temple as a direct response to Alex allegedly desecrating his own "Holy and Sacred Temple — The Immortal." Authorship note: Straightforward single-author document — a resignation letter, signed "Thor Beauregarde," addressed directly to Alex. No diarist framing or mixed voice present.